it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
