My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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