Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
