i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
