Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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