awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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