Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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