Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
