you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
