if you like me you must not know who I am
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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