Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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