haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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