You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
