Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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