woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
