And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
