Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
