i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
