We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
