woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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