HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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