I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We got so high we made milksteak
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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