exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
