Me too!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
