Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize