What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you win again, gameday.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
