the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
