it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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