Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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