I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize