Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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