vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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