U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
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You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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