so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize