It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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