my phone needs a breathalizer
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
