have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
