So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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