hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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