shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
