I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Sorry my hands just texted you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
