I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
