I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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