It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
is wine microwaveable?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
