I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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