you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
