2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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