Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
