i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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