So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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