woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
