nut hugger
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
