she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
