is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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