I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
